Shopaholic's Fantasy
by BubblyLit
Summary: In an attempt to rescue Bella from Alice's shopping addiction, The Cullen's join the girls on a shopping extravaganza only to be found...conveniently locked in the mall for the night! But before panicking...Why not...Have a little fun?
1. No, Alice! Please Don't Make Me!

A/N: HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS! I don't know about you, but I think this would be an interesting scenario.

"Alice! For the millionth time: NO!"

Alice's angelic face crumpled into a tragic expression. "But Bella...don't you love me?" She sighed, wiping away impossibly-created tears and I felt a spark of irritation underneath a wave of guilt.

"Alice..." I sighed, and she clapped her hands in joy. She knew she'd defeated me and was already seeing visions of our fateful shopping trip in Seattle. With a realization of what I had succumbed to, I panicked.

"AGH! I do NOT want to do this!-"

"Don't want to do what?" Interrupted a glorious, melodious, saviour of a voice.

"Edward!" I exclaimed, more than overjoyed to see him, gliding into the abandoned class room as if he were floating. I wrapped my arms around him in an iron grip (relatively speaking, of course.) I felt him chuckle beneath my desperate cries. He stroked my hair in response.

"Hey there." I felt him breathe him my strawberry smelling hair that I knew drove him crazy (perhaps a little too literally.)

"What are you making her do, Alice?" Edward asked warily, shifting me to the side to get a clearer view of the petite, diabolical vampire. Her grin mirrored her insanity.

"Just a little shopping trip, Edward." She shrugged innocently, "Nothing too risque."

Edward moaned.

"Alice, you know Bella doesn't like shopping, can't you just go mini-golfing or something?"

Alice gasped in offense. "Edward!" She cried, "Why don't you just strap on a penis and call me Emmett!"

Edward laughed again as I slumped more loosely in his arms and he gripped my body to his granite-strone core.

"May I suggest a compromise?" He proposed diplomatically. Alice grumbled, frustrated, apparently already aware of the compromise. She stamped her little ballet flat-covered foot and stormed out of the room, maintaing her perfect movement despite the tangible anger radiating from her black spikey head. Clearly, she was already in on it.

I glared at Edward from underneath my plain brown lashes.

"What's the compromise?" I wondered, still somewhat mesmerized by his sparkling gold eyes. He chucked a lopsided smile my way, before scooping me up in his arms, bridal style.

"We," he started, clambering out into the busy hall of Forks highschool, and I blushed from the eyes that followed us, "are turning this into a family thing. I thought you might feel better if Emmett, Jasper, and I were there to beg for a break once in awhile and radiate some testosterone."

I sighed a breath of relief and uncharacteristically pressed my lips gratefully to his. He stiffened, and effortlessly broke away from me. His sudden posture made me sigh. How I longed to jump him and have him not be overwhelmed by the desperate, irrational urge to consume my blood.

He set me down gently, and we walked to lunch together, hand in hand, a significant gesture.

I could not smile. I was so deeply unhappy about my two-day long shopping extravaganza that my mind could not stray away from anything else but the thought of mindless stripping on and off of ill-fitting clothes with price tags way out of affordability factors. The thought of Edward and his brothers being there perked me up, if only slightly. There was still only so far true, head-over-heels love could persuade you.

I couldn't even relinquish any excuses involving Charlie's dire need for a hot meal prepared, as Alice had already worked out all the details, knowing that that would be my natural justification for bowing out. "I've already talked to Charlie, Bella. He thinks that it would be a good chance for you to soak up some 'girl time' before graduation rolls around." She'd told me sternly before kneeling on the floor and begging.

Too soon, the concluding chime of the bell sirened and we were dismissed too generously by Mr. Barker in Photography (which was somewhat pointless considering we used film and the sun rarely showed it's lovely face) and I drove home, considerably grudgingly with Edward in the passenger seat, smirking but firmly holding my hand.

"Pack your things..." He muttered velvetty smooth, trying to calm my palpable anger. I threw him a glare and began to throw my most average clothes in a duffel bag. His face remained smooth and apologetic. He moved lithely towards where I stood, throwing things vigorously into the sportschek bag.

"You're quite adorable when you're angry..." He made a soft noise in the back of his throat and began to graze my nose with his and I was once again faced with a brick wall when trying to remember how to absorb oxygen. His golden eyes flashed and I felt an electric jolt spark in the pit of my stomach and work it's way down to my toes and up to my brain, still oxygen deprived. As quickly as he started his pain-numbing techniques, he pulled back, with a concerned crease in his forehead.

"Charlie?" I guessed, and laid my head on his concrete chest. He smoothed my hair.

"Yes. I'll meet you downstairs." And he threw himself out the window and I heard the door bell ring.

I jogged clumsily down the stairs, and swung my bag over my shoulder, unbalanced as I skid into the kitchen, full throttle. It was amazing what his little gift could do to my logical sense. Charlie came out of nowhere and he steadied me.

"Slow down, kid...how was your day?"

"Fine, dad. How was yours?" I asked, still making my way to the front door. He mumbled something unintelligible and I flung the wooden, cracked paint, door open to reveal my angel. He grinned at me and my fairly enthusiastic response but still managed to greet Charlie respectfully as a good boyfriend should.

"Evening, Chief Swan. I understand you're alright with letting Bella go to Seattle for the weekend?" He asked, in a flawlessly appropriate. Charlie, however, did not seem to appreciate it.

"I thought it was just Alice, Rosalie and Esme!" He exclaimed, not trying to cover up his distaste for my vampire boyfriend.

"Well, considering us boys won't be doing much shopping, spending our time hiking, a few towns out of Seattle, it mostly is." Flawless.

Charlie couldn't argue there. "Well-...fine. Bye Bells'." He waved me his ever so affectionate goodbye and we dashed out of the house before I could dread what was coming up anymore thoroughly. Of course, Alice was already leaning stoically against her vibrantly yellow Porsche, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie all tucked comfortably inside.

I blanched.

"Esme?" I asked weakly. Edward shook his head. "Just to ease his mind. Esme and Carlisle have already jetted off to L.A. for the weekend."

Hmmm. Lovely.

We were approaching Alice by now. Her grin was hard to discourage.

"What about appropriate seating!?" I gasped, knowing that my weak excuse would affect nothing.

"We want to make good time, Bella." Alice squeaked, "Someone will have to double-buckle."

And I wonder who that someone would end up being, I wondered sarcastically, throwing Edward a dirty look.

He winked and threw me my favourite grin.

"Don't mind using my lap as a seat, do you, Isabella?" He smiled again, this time with a wicked glint in his eyes. I gulped.

"I guess not..." I muttered and stepped over to the side of the car, blushing deeply. He followed me, grabbing me by the wrist.

We tucked ourselves beside Rosalie and Emmett, while Alice and Jasper occupied the front seats. Edward wrapped his arms lovingly around my waist while Alice bolted maniacally down the tiny Forks street. I shivered, delighted, but somewhat embarassed that Jasper was probably reading every emotion in the car right now. My cheeks painted a delicate burgundy shade.

The road trip was long despite the excellent time we made. Alice insisted on getting me stereotypical road trip snacks including a Big Gulp and Krispy Kreme anytime a Shell Gas Station came into view. I was royally pissed as it was, and this trip was taking much longer than need be. Anything to postpone shopping, I suppose.

Complaints were another thing, in spite of me being the only one who could claim true discomfort, Rosalie moaned the entire time about her deflating hair and Emmett groaned about the 'slow' speed.

"This is taking FOREVER, Alice!" He cried beside me, "PUT THE PEDAL TO THE METAL!"

Jasper growled.

"Emmett!" Alice squeaked, "I can't go as fast as I like because of the four car PILE UP ahead, you fool!" Her irritation was almost comical coming from her high soprano voice. Emmett snarled.

Edward breathed out evenly.

"This was a bad idea."

He was not even slightly aware of how right he was.

A/N: this chapter was kind of short and uneventful, but I hope it captured your interest! It shall be continued if everybody reviews and tells me that they want to see this continuously posted! If not, I shall write it for my own enjoyment but keep it to myself.

REVIEW, PLEASE!

xox


	2. Split Second Decision

When the turnoff to Seattle finally came into view, I sighed in relief as Edward's rock hard body was starting to carve it's o

A/N: OH MY GOD GUYS! You are absolutely so super fantastic! 14 reviews! Go me! Go you! To reward you I have this slightly mediocrely fashioned chapter. Haha, but bear with me, the next two are certainly worth sticking around for. They are so wicked. Anyway, enjoy;)

Split Second Decision

When the turnoff to Seattle finally came into view, I sighed in relief as Edward's rock hard body was starting to carve it's own shape into my back. Even god-like appearances couldn't cancel out my deep discomfort. But Alice sped straight past it. Edward grumbled.

"Um, Alice?" I prodded. She grinned wickedly. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Alice! Where are you taking me?" I demanded.

"God, Bella, you're so self-involved. We're all suffering here." Huffed Emmett, looking irritably out the window.

Alice ignored him, and cranked up a song on the radio, singing softly and beautifully along with a rhythmic melody.

"_We got more bounce in California, than all y'all combined!"_Her voice hugged the music smoothly. Her lovely soprano voice was not enough to shake the sudden panic that flooded my circulatory system.

"Alice..." I began dangerously, "We're not going to Seattle, are we?". She shook her head a fraction of an inch and looked back at me through the mirror. Frightening creature.

"EDWARD!" I cried, "WHERE ARE WE GOING?"

"Alice..." Edward breathed, clearly sending some sort of telepathic warning.

It got stiffly silent for a good 25 seconds. I couldn't take it. I let out a breath.

"Someone tell me what's going on RIGHT NOW!" I was yelling, but the panic fluttering through my veins told me it was logical.

Emmett let out an exasperated noise.

"We're going to L.A., Bella." Rosalie stated plainly, not shifting her bored gaze from out the window. Oh no. This was NOT A PART of the plan!

"What do you mean!?" I shrieked, and Edward tried to rub my shoulders soothingly but I shook him off. Were they insane? How could we possibly make it a three day trip in enough time to get there and back _and_ do some shopping in the span of two days?

"Bella, would you chill out? We won't bite." Emmett added with a wink. I glared at him.

"Alice, I know you're impulsive, but you should have prepared Bella a little bit better." Jasper scolded, however, he traced Alice's hand lovingly.

"Alice, I DEMAND you to turn the car around _THIS-INSANT_." I tried to come off threatening but being a human with a strength of a soap bubble, I was probably not in the position to make any promises. I felt the simultaneous eye-rolling of five skeptical vampires.

"How will we get there in time..." I surrendered weakly. Alice sparked up again.

"Do you have any comprehension of how fast this car is, Bella?" Alice squealed, "We'll

be there in an hour or less."

Just then, I realized how the four car pile up traffic was significantly behind us and the trees and pavement were more or less a gray and green blur. My stomach heaved. Edward pressed his soothing cool hand to my forehead in response. The car full of immortal beauties chuckled in unison and soon enough, the car had relapsed into its previous silence, with the exception of Alice's incessant, but beautiful singing and the dull thrum of the apparently appallingly powerful engine.

"What about the weather?" I asked, knowing I had another angle to work here, though we were probably mid-Oregon by now. Alice smirked knowingly.

"Not a ray of sun in the sky; quite uncharacteristic for this time of year," She giggled, probably fantasizing about the South Coast Plaza already. Edward traced circles on my lower back.

As Alice predicted, we arrived in L.A. in no more than an hour and the sky remained a colourless gray. Rows of palm trees greeted us as we manipulated traffic and plowed gracefully into a vast parking lot in front of a shopping mall of epic proportions. The parking lot had an average amount of cars, with a significant number of pink convertibles and sleek, black BMWs. I guess people really did have more bounce in California.

The beautiful family I belonged to in a more figurative sense than literal, slid smoothly out of the conspicuous car and I clambered out hastily behind. Strolling through the automatic doors of the mall, people stared; this was not a hugely shocking situation but their eyes soon strayed from each individual beauty to my plain, heartbreakingly average appearance and I found myself blushing, and hiding half of my body behind Edward's. Soon enough, Alice halted to a stop and motioned for us to circle around her.

"This is how it's going to work," She began and I nearly broke down right there, in the centre of The Bay as she pulled out an intricately drawn map.

Edward's hand snatched the map out of her grip before I could blink. A furtive snarl ripped through the lovely little ballerina-esque's chest. Her teeth were pulled back.

Edward remained unfazed.

"You've dragged us this far, Alice, I think we can find everything alright." He stated in a way that I knew was more for my benefit than anything else.

"It would just go so much faster if you knew exactly where you were going so you can have optimal purchasing time!" She stomped her foot.

Edward, displeased, waved his hand signifying that she should proceed.

"Okay then!" She yelled, all enthusiasm restored.

She began listing off every store we were to hit, when, how long we would spend their, and even sections of the store we were to hit first. Eternal life certainly shifted your priorities. The list, of course, was nearly the entire mall. To be finished in a grand total of eight hours, when the mall closed. I had no idea how we were going to get out, shopping completed before it did.

It was going to be a ridiculously long day...

A/N: OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY ABOUT HOW SHITTY THAT CHAPTER WAS... It's just, I really want a clean chapter to start for for when I start writing about the shopping experience itself and I know chapter was also scarce on variety of events but PLEASE it will get more exciting! Still, I really hope you liked it, I should be in bed haha.

REVIEW. You guys did SO well last time, I know you can do even better!

xoxo


	3. Orange Julius's Cure Mortification

A/N: Hey there. This chapter's a bit random, but provided me with a few good laughs. It sort of gets the ball rolling at the end. Haha. This story is taking awhile to do so, but thanks for sticking with me guys! Think we could get to fifty reviews? Longest chapter yet I believe. I'm going away this weekend and next week is assessment free so I'll either be writing more chapters or studying for exams haha. We'll see.

ENJOY!

Um listen to... The Best Damn Thing by Avril Lavigne for this chapter. It's upbeat.

The day was cluttered. I assumed we would split up into groups or something, considering our large number, but Alice insisted we stay together and 'enjoy the experience'. I think she mostly wanted to keep an eye on me to prevent from buying anymore khaki skirts or sweatpants.

So, I now stood between Emmett who was trying to determine the identity of a fabric-y black contraption, and Jasper who was frowning and comparing two identical bras with two significantly different price tags; both of which Alice was buying. He sighed, and proceeded to place them back into the cart under Alice's warning gaze.

"One has a silk protecti-" She started to insist but Jasper cut her off with a look that clearly stated he would prefer to live off of penguins for the rest of eternity than hear the end of that sentence. She shrugged and carried on, throwing bits and pieces into the already overflowing cart.

"Bella..." she began ominously, her gaze finding me examining a shimmering, forest green pant suit ensemble. I looked up, worried.

"After this department store, me and Rose are headed to that lingerie boutique-"

"We were just there."

"That was a pet store!" She exclaimed and continued, "But we were going to take you along..." She winked.

I rolled my eyes.

"Nope."

Alice barked a short, enticing laugh.

"I don't believe I asked your permission."

I would have been horrified at her response, but you see, I was maxed out. Edward chose this moment to make his appearance, his eyes alight with excitement.

"Have you SEEN the size of the dressing rooms?!" He yelped, grinning from ear to ear. I raised an eyebrow.

"Have you ever been shopping before?" I asked, incredulous. He paled a bit, if that were possible.

"Well...not- personally...I _have_ read about it though." He insisted, slightly abashed. This angered me.

"You have been needlessly throwing me to the wolves," I gestured towards Alice and Rosalie who were currently fussing over a feathered boa I found repulsive on sight, "while you had never personally been subjected to such traumas?" He appeared to not hear me, now preoccupied with a pile of men's ties that had been marked down, humming enthusiastically while doing so.

I looked at Emmett to share this slightly staggering moment of my cooth vampire boyfriend loosing his cool to discounted, mass-produced clothing. But he was snapping the elastic in a pair of pink, fruit of the loom panties with a look of fascination. I sighed. This day had barely begun, and already I wanted to crawl up in one of the changerooms and pray for death.

Alice had managed to drag me (I'd be lying if I said figuratively) to LaSenza with her Rosalie and I now slumped disheartened in the corner of my dressing room, staring down my current enemy. I would not try it on. I would say I had, but had founded it not to be my style. There was not a snowball's chance in hell I would have that ... _hideous_-_thing _touch my relatively clean skin!

"Bella?" Rosalie called from the other side of the dressing room, that now seemed quite distant.

"Mmmhmmm?" I answered back, trying to sound the image of innocence.

"Alice and I want to see what it looks like."

Damnit.

"Um...I don't know, you guys." I whimpered pathetically. I heard Alice's impatient exhalation of breath and the irritated tapping of black-painted fingernails on the wooden door.

"Bella..." Rosalie's voice was less friendly now. Our 'sometimes' truce was on a hiatus, it appeared.

I almost began to reach for it and jolted out of my sudden fear of being murdered by a sinfully gorgeous blonde vampire.

"No!" My voice came out a high-pitched squeal. I could hear my two sisters collapse into a riot of giggles at my outburst. I would not succumb to their misplaced, childish laughter.

"Bella," Alice tried to coax, sighing off her last session of giggles. "If you don't put it on yourself, we'll put it on for you." Her voice held an edge of threat to it, sharp as a razor. I gulped.

"I doubt it." This catalystic murmur of my voice had not meant to be spoken aloud, nor be heard by the hyper-sensitive ears that lingered outside the doorway, with only a cheap piece of metal to snap in order to break through the barrier.

Before I had a chance to regret my words that I hadn't anticipated leaving my mouth, Rosalie had me pinned to the floor and Alice proceeded to strip me of my baggy jeans and gray sweater. I shrieked.

"GET OFF, GET OFF, GET OFF, GET OFF!" I was flat out screaming. I was freakishly ticklish, and had managed to spend close to two years around a perceptive, literally inhuman family without it coming up. I writhed on the ground in involuntary, _unhappy_, laughs that erupted from my shaking chest. Even in the considerable circumstances, I still had a chance to acknowledge my bare body with a hot, scarlett blush. It was quick and Rosalie deftly sprung to her feet, and Alice tugged my hand into stand position. I took a self-loathing, humiliated glance in the mirror and I felt hot tears spring to my eyes.

There I was, completely de-Bella'd, with my feminine parts enclosed in a sickly sweet shade of pink. My chest was strapped and lifted into an embarassing amount of cleavage and attempted to feign an innocent appearance, juxtapositioning a ridiculous-looking cerise-coloured bow. My stomach betrayed my lack of muscle and shone a ghostly white and trailed my eyes down to a match pair of pink panties with disturbing amounts of ruffles trimming the sides. But that was absolutely, without a doubt, completely and _totally not _the most embarassing part of this. Not by a long shot. There, hooked to the hideous pink underwear, were a pair of appalling, hooker-esque fish nets, criss-crossing frighteningly down my long pale legs. I let out another scream.

"I'M A SKANK!" I yelled, horrified.

My sisters were having a fit and so quickly that I couldn't be sure, Rosalie was snapping photos on her hot pink Crzr. Before I had time to strip off the awful monstronsity, a beautiful, but horribly familiar voice was calling my name to where we all stood, with our different emotions boiling. However, I was so deeply upset, I could think of nothing but the disgusting pink tainting my innocent frame.

"Bella?" Called Edward, and multiple footsteps were to be heard along side the gorgeous voice.

I remained in a trance, glaring at the mirror. Alice shook my shoulder. Rosalie coughed.

"This is about to get either extremely hilarious, or very stressful." I thought I hear Rosalie mumble under her breath. I couldn't be sure. My mind was quite far away. The door that flung wide open certainly shook me out of that state.

My body could not have reacted faster to the most potent kind of humiliation. It was one thing having two girls that I knew had seen it all, and this was merely a very embarassing joke to them, but to have three grown boys, gawking at my lack of clothing ('provocative' if that were possible on such a plain figure) made my gag reflex ignite and I willed my brain to shut down so I could pass out, and self medicate. My face pulsed a bright burgundy that I was sure would never simmer again to my original pale; I would be perpetually sunburnt. I soon heard a girlish, high pitched shriek. I wondered where it came from.

Before I had a chance to blink, Edward's protective arms were like a stone vise around my body, I was suddenly in my original clothes, and a quiet scolding was emanating from his icey looking lips. The department store was a blur and I imagined people would be staring, but it was hard to care when all my embarassment and irritation had dissipated because of the stone arms I loved so deeply cradled me. His snarls that echoed so loudly in his chest, next to my ear were the only thing that continued to unnerve me.

We were seated comfortably, _conservatively_ , in the food court, I, with an orange julius placed firmly in my hands and a box of greasy fries sat next to them. Edward stroked my face with the back of his hand repetitively, concerned etched on his remarkable face. I didn't have the heart to tell him my uneasiness had not completely been from Alice and Rosalie's barbie workshop but the fact that he, Emmett and Jasper had not failed to miss the show.

"Are you alright?" he spoke softly, as if not to frighten me.

I could not resist a giggle.

"Well, I can't deny that was the single most embarassing moment of my life, but you're overreacting a bit." I was staring at my drink, my cheeks flushed a bit.

He sighed and broke into a bit of a chuckle. And then growled.

I looked up and the rest of the Cullens were trouncing over to us, Alice grinning like a psycho.

"Don't believe you're invited." Edward rejected their arrival. Alice ignored him and sat down.

"Aw, come on, Edward, we warned her fair and square!" she spoke sweetly.

Edward turned to give her a stare that emanated hate, but stopped abruptly at Jasper's expression.

I was so frustrated in general. Frustrated at Alice's persistent guiltrips for me to go shopping with her, frustrated at what had happened, frustrated at being my conservative self, frustrated at the whole day, I just wanted to end it.

"You know...Why don't we go finish shopping? Go find a hotel." I was mediating even though this was somewhat my fight.

Everyone's faces were shocked that I was 'willing' to spend more time being Alice's and Rosalie's coat hanger. Edward's look was the most questioning.

"Come on," I grumbled, uncomfortable with all of the eyes on me.

That was the first time it happened.

A spikey blonde haired boy approached me as we all stood, and grinned at me expectant. I blushed.

Edward growled.

"Hey." He stated simply.

"Hi..." I greeted back, somewhat mockingly.

"So...wanna grab a coffee?" His invitation caught me off guard, but before I knew it, Edward had reached my frozen, confused hand, and whisked me out of the food court before I could even blink at this Abercrombie and Fitch model-esque boy.

I could hear the rest of the Cullens peeling out ear-rippling laughter.

I was stunned. Firstly, I was in L.A.. Weren't there more stunningly beautiful model/actresses/singers in every square metre? Being completely blatant, I was a downright dog compared to any of them. Secondly, was he so blind as to ignore the unmissable gestures Edward threw me clearly implying we were an item? And did he have no self-preservation instincts? He must have seen Edward's enormous brothers.

We were in a secluded corner of Aeropostale before anyone could manage anything but melodic cackles.

Edward, however, was peeved.

Alice was grinning innocently, but I could not be deceived. She was up to something.

Edward spoke calmly, surprising contrast against his face.

"I guess you should tell her how appallingly rude you've been today, Alice."

A/N: Bet you've got no idea what's going on!

Don't worry! You'll understand soon enough!!

Enjoy my lovelies.

xoxoxox


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